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treasure_geeksSo. I'm working on a seven-page awesome AU teenage Riley/Ben fic... and what do I end up typing? A short story about zombies. It's... crackalicious. Really - it makes no sense. I will be more than happy to explain my thought process to anyone asking. :D
Title: Alternative Lifestyles
Author: cynical_sweater (Bee! :D)
Rating: PG to PG-13, depending on how much zombies terrify you.
Pairing: BRILEY
Summary: In which there are zombies.
Warnings: More gayness. Not a whole lot this time around, but it's there. Oh. And, uh, zombies. Yeah. Zombies. Which makes this a CRACK FIC.
Disclaimer: I got nothin. Not even the zombies. Though they like to eat my internet.
“Get it off! Oh my God, get it off of me, get it off get it off get it off.” Riley's kicking, thrashing, crawling backwards as the decaying once-human reaches for him. It gets a hold of his jeans and it tries to pull him toward it – toward its hungry, gaping, never ceasing mouth. “Jesus Christ, Ben, please! Ben, get it off get it off.” He's fighting like no tomorrow. And then there's a gunshot. And then there's silence. Except for the moans echoing from somewhere. The sound can carry for miles.
Riley jumps to his feet, dashes past the twice dead flesh and hurls himself at Ben. Ben catches him with one arm, cradling him against his chest. “What have I told you about empty houses, Riley?”
“That they're not always empty,” Riley recites dutifully and tightens his arms around Ben's middle. Ben sets the rifle on the unstable kitchen table so he can hold the other properly. “I don't even know what happened. I was just looking for food – for cans,” and Ben can see over Riley's shoulder an open pantry, “and I heard something behind me and it just...”
“Jesus, Riley,” he mutters against his hair. “You need to be more alert. Where's your gun?”
“I put it on the counter... I just wasn't thinking. We haven't seen anything in almost a week, I thought it was safe.”
“You can hear the moans, right?”
“Yeah,” he admits shyly and pulls back a little. “But you can always hear the moans. They never stop.” And it's true. In the past year, as the undead population started overtaking and replacing the living, screeching tires and car horns and blasting radios and the soundtrack to human society in general was drowned out by the robotic, groaning moan of the swelling horde.
In that year, Ben and Riley quickly adjusted to a renegade on-the-run lifestyle. They learned to sleep light and walk even lighter. Despite their joint-hatred for firearms, they both became pretty good shots. Neither of them have heard from family in months, but they try not to think about that as much as possible.
Ben presses a fast kiss to Riley's mouth. It's all they have time for these days, as they're more focused on getting from town to town, surviving on whatever they can scavenge. Their relationship, while comforting, is not a top priority. Not that they don't love each other, because they do. “You gonna be okay?” Ben asks. Riley's shaking has slowed and he doesn't look as pale.
“Yeah, I'm good. It just startled me, is all.”
“I hadn't noticed,” Ben teases and picks up both their weapons. He hands Riley his with a gentle smile. “C'mon, the sun will be setting soon and we need to find a safe place to spend the night.”
“Let's get going then,” Riley agrees and takes a hold of Ben's hand as they make their way out of the dilapidated house and into the neighborhood. Their hands remain linked while they scan the bushes for anything malicious. What they have isn't quite a life, but it's certainly better than the alternative.
Woo!
Title: Alternative Lifestyles
Author: cynical_sweater (Bee! :D)
Rating: PG to PG-13, depending on how much zombies terrify you.
Pairing: BRILEY
Summary: In which there are zombies.
Warnings: More gayness. Not a whole lot this time around, but it's there. Oh. And, uh, zombies. Yeah. Zombies. Which makes this a CRACK FIC.
Disclaimer: I got nothin. Not even the zombies. Though they like to eat my internet.
“Get it off! Oh my God, get it off of me, get it off get it off get it off.” Riley's kicking, thrashing, crawling backwards as the decaying once-human reaches for him. It gets a hold of his jeans and it tries to pull him toward it – toward its hungry, gaping, never ceasing mouth. “Jesus Christ, Ben, please! Ben, get it off get it off.” He's fighting like no tomorrow. And then there's a gunshot. And then there's silence. Except for the moans echoing from somewhere. The sound can carry for miles.
Riley jumps to his feet, dashes past the twice dead flesh and hurls himself at Ben. Ben catches him with one arm, cradling him against his chest. “What have I told you about empty houses, Riley?”
“That they're not always empty,” Riley recites dutifully and tightens his arms around Ben's middle. Ben sets the rifle on the unstable kitchen table so he can hold the other properly. “I don't even know what happened. I was just looking for food – for cans,” and Ben can see over Riley's shoulder an open pantry, “and I heard something behind me and it just...”
“Jesus, Riley,” he mutters against his hair. “You need to be more alert. Where's your gun?”
“I put it on the counter... I just wasn't thinking. We haven't seen anything in almost a week, I thought it was safe.”
“You can hear the moans, right?”
“Yeah,” he admits shyly and pulls back a little. “But you can always hear the moans. They never stop.” And it's true. In the past year, as the undead population started overtaking and replacing the living, screeching tires and car horns and blasting radios and the soundtrack to human society in general was drowned out by the robotic, groaning moan of the swelling horde.
In that year, Ben and Riley quickly adjusted to a renegade on-the-run lifestyle. They learned to sleep light and walk even lighter. Despite their joint-hatred for firearms, they both became pretty good shots. Neither of them have heard from family in months, but they try not to think about that as much as possible.
Ben presses a fast kiss to Riley's mouth. It's all they have time for these days, as they're more focused on getting from town to town, surviving on whatever they can scavenge. Their relationship, while comforting, is not a top priority. Not that they don't love each other, because they do. “You gonna be okay?” Ben asks. Riley's shaking has slowed and he doesn't look as pale.
“Yeah, I'm good. It just startled me, is all.”
“I hadn't noticed,” Ben teases and picks up both their weapons. He hands Riley his with a gentle smile. “C'mon, the sun will be setting soon and we need to find a safe place to spend the night.”
“Let's get going then,” Riley agrees and takes a hold of Ben's hand as they make their way out of the dilapidated house and into the neighborhood. Their hands remain linked while they scan the bushes for anything malicious. What they have isn't quite a life, but it's certainly better than the alternative.
Woo!
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no subject
Date: 2008-01-26 12:58 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-01-26 06:35 pm (UTC)Crack fics are so soothing to write. Because, well, mainly... you don't need to worry about the plot. Because it's crack. No one really cares how these things came into play. They just did.
A gay love story between two zombie hunters - cute indeed. We'll put it on Broadway and make millions. :D
no subject
Date: 2008-01-26 01:39 pm (UTC)~ sera
no subject
Date: 2008-01-26 06:34 pm (UTC)Zombies are so cool. I'm basically waiting for them to overtake humanity. And I will be ready. Because I've read the Zombie Survival Guide. Oh yes. It exists.
I can't believe people are actually liking this story - it's amazing! *snugglehugs*
no subject
Date: 2008-01-26 08:22 pm (UTC)And I need to remember the monster movie challenge idea for Halloween. With Valentine's Day so close, people might be more interested in romantic schmoop for now. Personally, I don't get it; I prefer a good horror movie if the alternative is romantic chick flick comedy.
~ sera
no subject
Date: 2008-01-26 04:42 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-01-26 06:29 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-01-26 04:53 pm (UTC)I would like to know how you came up with this... interesting piece of fiction :P
And... zombies are fun to kill. 'Noff said.
It all started with...
Date: 2008-01-26 06:28 pm (UTC)In the Scrubs fandom (I know, walk with me here.)there's an author who wrote a series about JD and Dr. Cox surviving a zombie apocalypse. I was thinking about those fics while I was watching the trailers.
Oh, and I had my AU teenage National Treasure story open in Microsoft Word. Not that I was working on it. But it was there. So, I combined all three elements and got that thing. *points* Up there.
Zombies are fun to kill. Wanna join the Happy Boys and Happy Girls Zombie Eradication Brigade? XD We have great insurance plans.
Re: It all started with...
Date: 2008-01-26 06:56 pm (UTC)Re: It all started with...
Date: 2008-01-26 06:56 pm (UTC)Re: It all started with...
Date: 2008-01-26 07:33 pm (UTC)It took me a while, but I found the story; it's in two parts.
Part 1:
http://community.livejournal.com/jaysfiction/20149.html
Part 2:
http://community.livejournal.com/jaysfiction/21616.html
There. You owe me. :D (It is a great story - I love this author.)
Re: It all started with...
Date: 2008-01-26 08:45 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-02-01 07:53 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-02-02 07:12 am (UTC)I'm having a surprising amount of fun manipulating Briley to fit in with post apocalypse zombie America. Very much a romance-on-the-run, but they still have time for Valentine's. (I used the zombieverse for my Valentine's Day challenge response, lol.)
Riley is very much still a little kid. I don't really think he would have survived a hostile undead takeover had he not had Ben watching his ass... in every definition of the word 'watch'. XD