Yeah... the aliens helped them.

[piratehatter.livejournal.com]

I finished my entries for the Crack!Contest!!! 8D

the picture was done about a week ago and i finished the fic mere minutes ago. I'm not proud of them, nor will i parade them around, claiming superiority but if its one thing-- *gets hit with tomatoes*

FINE. No long winded introduction, just read the damn fic.

Title The Fox and the Hare
Rating roughly PG-15, i'd suspect
Pairing Riley/Ben with hints of Ben/Abigail and Abigail/Sadusky
Genre CRACK, DAMMIT. PAY ATTENTION.
Summary Riley the Bunny gets a visit from a certain Fox
Warnings Over use and abuse of "fluffy" and other such words. Also, its just so frikkin weird.
Cake? Yes plz.

--

Once upon a time there was a fluffy bunny by the name of Riley. He was a happy bunny and liked to bounce around his meadow everyday and chew on the soft grass and lie in the sun. Some of the other bunnies thought he was a douche but they just didn’t understand his brand of comedy (which he liked to call sarcasm. “A sour orgasm”, he would say). Riley was a happy brown bunny.

 

One day, however, something very bad happened to Riley the Bunny. He was bouncing in his meadow, enjoying the warm spring sun and the nice, soft grass when he heard a terrifying, gut-retching growl emerge from behind him. He froze, ears laid back and slowly turned to see what would produce such a horrifying sound.

 

There was a flash of copper and soon, Riley the Bunny was on his stomach, pinned down by a large fox. The fox grinned smugly at Riley, idly tossing his head to get a lock of fur out of his eyes.

 

“Hello there,” the fox said, politely enough. Riley’s breath caught in his throat. “And good bye,”

 

Just as the jaws descended Riley yelled “WAIT!!”

 

The fox looked at him curiously. Riley opened his eyes slowly; unaware they were shut in the first place.

 

“Don’t eat me!” Riley pleaded, twisting his neck to look at the fox. The fox laughed.

 

“Well what will I eat, if not you?” he cackled.

 

“Not like there are other bunnies around,” Riley sighed to himself. The fox heard him.

 

“Are there?” his tone was dangerous, daring Riley to continue. He gulped.

 

“No, I’m actually the only bunny in the entire world. I wouldn’t last, even if you didn’t eat me. I’m not asexual,” he shrugged and buried his face in the grass.

 

“Very charming, aren’t you?” The fox sighed.

 

“Surprisingly,” the bunny replied, trying to postpone his bleak fate, “the other bunnies don’t think so,”

 

The fox laughed and leaned down next to Riley’s head.

 

“Now why would they think that?” he growled deeply. Riley shivered, panicking once again.

 

“I…” Riley began to choke as he felt a large paw clasp around the back of his throat.

 

“You know, bunny, I don’t think I’ll eat you,” the fox rumbled deep in his chest. Riley nearly sobbed with relief.

“Thank you, Mr. Fox! Oh thank you, thank you, thank you!!!”

 

“Instead I think I’ll have you for myself,” there was a definite grin in the fox’s voice. Riley blanched and froze.

 

“I’m sorry?” He asked with a shaking bunny voice.

 

“I like you, bunny. You’re funny and damn nice to look at. And, you’ve got a cute bunny ass,” he lightly scraped his pearl white claws down Riley’s back to his ass cheeks and dug them in. Riley jolted and squeaked.

 

“Please, Mr. Fox!! Just let me go!”

 

“Mr. Fox is my father,” he whispered into Riley’s ear.

 

“Well… who are you, then?” he ventured softly.

 

“Name’s Ben the Fox, little bunny,” he rolled him over to get a good look at Riley.

 

“I’m Riley the Bunny,” Riley blinked up at the larger animal. His fur was a beautiful shade of copper-red. Riley saw his big, fluffy tail swish back and forth gracefully. The sight of it hypnotized him and interested him. He felt his tail twitch.

 

“Well, Riley the Bunny, your face is even prettier than I thought,” he smiled sinisterly. Riley felt his heart hammer in his chest. He felt light-headed.

 

Riley thought Ben the Fox didn’t look like what his bunny-mother said foxes looked like. She said they looked like demons, ready to devour anything in sight. Ben the Fox was bewitching. His teeth, though pointed, were not devil’s fangs. Riley couldn’t tear his eyes away from the fox. It was like Stockholm syndrome.

 

Ben thought Riley the Bunny was much different than any bunny he’d previously come across. He didn’t look appetizing or delicious. He looked so innocent… but corrupted, indifferent yet concerned, exotic but so familiar. He looked like so many things, Ben couldn’t help but stare.

 

“Please let me go, Ben,” Riley pleaded with eyes still intently focused on Ben’s face.

 

“No. You’re not going anywhere,” he snarled grabbed Riley’s wrists roughly, pinning him to the ground.

 

“Hey!!”

 

“You, little bunny, are mine,” he stared Riley in the face. There was barely an inch between them. Riley felt his breath being sucked from his mouth.

 

Suddenly, he felt Ben’s lips crushed against his. His nose wrinkled and twitched but soon enough, he relaxed and submitted to the fox’s rough assault.

 

The kiss, unnatural as it was, soon grew very passionate and the two animals were rolling and writhing on the ground. Ben’s claws left pale red marks on Riley’s skin. Before long, there was a complicated network of them, tracing every curve and crevice of the bunny’s body. Riley shivered as the claws danced over his skin and his tail twitched spastically.

 

“Not a very innocent little bunny, are you?” Ben asked huskily when they broke apart. Riley was on top of Ben, straddling him. He shook his head excitedly.

 

Ben laughed, running his hands down Riley’s back, to his ass, and finally burying them in Riley’s poofy tail. It twitched furiously.

 

“Ben!” A shrill voice cut through the air with an icy force. Ben winced and laid back his ears in annoyance.

 

“That’s just great…” he sighed and tilted his head back against the grass, trying to look at the source of the shriek.

 

A snow white mink strutted up, looking none-too-pleased. She looked down at Riley with distaste before turning to Ben.

 

“Oh so you abandon me and run off with a rabbit? Very nice, Ben, you’ve hit a new low!” her tail swished irritably.

 

“Bunny,” Riley corrected softly. Ben glared at Riley and turned to the mink.

 

“No it’s not like that—“

 

“Mm-hmm? So what’s it like, then? You two were just wrestling? My mother raised only one fool, Ben, and his name is Bob,” the mink huffed and sneered at Ben.

 

“Nice to meet you, Bob,” Riley said brightly. The mink’s tail quivered with rage. She bared her teeth threateningly. Riley shrank back against Ben’s legs.

 

“Ben, dump this chump and let’s go. I’ve been in heat all day and—“

 

“Very nice, yeah, but maybe I want to stay with the bunny?” Ben moved his hands down Riley’s thighs and then up again. Riley shivered.

 

“No.”

 

“What? You… just like that?”

 

“Yes. Come on, I’ve got big plans and they don’t involve,” she shivered with disgust, “rabbits,”

 

“Oh screw you,”

 

“Yes. Come on, Ben,” she nodded and started to walk away, expecting Ben to follow. He stayed on the grass, positioned very nicely underneath Riley.

 

“I’m staying here, Abigail. The bunny’s alright by me. Very alright,” he smirked at Riley. He playfully covered his mouth and giggled.

 

“Fine! And you know what, Ben?” she hissed

 

“What, Abigail?”

 

“I hear Sadusky the Wolf is single! I’m going to pay him a little visit,”

 

“How nice. He’s very lucky,”

 

Abigail stood in the field, burning with anger. Ben tilted his head back to look at her again.

 

“Go on, then,”

 

Furious, she turned and ran off in the direction of Sadusky’s home. Riley watched her leave with interest.

 

“Old mate,” Ben laughed. Riley’s tail twitched.

 

“Lovely girl. Can’t imagine why you left her,”

 

Ben laughed again and sat up, knocking Riley backwards but still seated comfortably in his lap.

 

“So, little bunny, ever had a fox before?” Ben’s manic grin returned, showing off his vicious canines.

 

“Not in perfect honesty, no,”

 

“That’s about to change,”

 

There was a rhythmic beat before Riley shouted: “If you can catch me!”

 

With that, he leapt out of Ben’s lap, laughing as he bounced and bounded through the open fields, avoiding and eluding Ben’s grip. Ben would not give up and pursued him tirelessly.

 

For the Fox will always have his Hare.

--

The ending would've been sexier, but Disney was gnawing on my brain cells.